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Black Friday.

Right now, you too could be putting on your coat and heading out to Wal*Mart just for the opportunity to knock over children on your way to 60% off granny-panties. Yes, you too could wait all night for the clock to strike 5 a.m. so that you can be the first to grab a $2 garden hose that will have a plethora of holes by the time you use it next spring. You too could celebrate the not-so-sausage fest that is Black Friday. With a name that conjures more thoughts of depression than wanton money spending, who could resist the busiest shopping day of the year.

I, for one, plan to stay away from those stores, but I encourage you, if you have anger issues, go punch a few children in the chaos. Just scream, "The sales! The sales!" as you do so; they'll understand your passion.

I leave you with the story of one ex-Wal*Mart employee:
"I'll never forget how I was working overnights at Wal-Mart, and the boss had to page everyone around 4 am asking us to 'please stop looking out the windows and laughing at the customers waiting outside'"

2 Comments on this post:

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